VCU School of Business Graduation

by: Edward L. Flippen, VCU Board of Visitors

Thank you, Dean Sesnowitz, for that introduction. We are most fortunate to have your leadership during this critical period in the life of VCU. VCU is gaining greater national recognition - we now have 17 nationally ranked programs and several programs on the "bubble" for national ranking - but, at the same time, we are significantly cutting costs to meet mandates from the Governor and General Assembly. These are challenging times, and you do not have an easy job. But you are the right person to lead the VCU School of Business at just a time like this.

When Dean Sesnowitz asked me to speak today, I jumped at the opportunity. After all, I graduated from the Business School 37 years ago this weekend, and surely I've gained some valuable experience over the years that I might share with future business leaders - at least I hope I have learned something worthwhile in 37 years.

But, interestingly, when I sat down to think about my experience, what came to mind was not my business or professional experience, but rather personal experience. For example, I thought of the nights my two daughters were born; when they were baptized; took their first steps; graduated from elementary, middle and high schools, and from college; had their first dates (and how they stayed out too late I should add). I remember family vacations and all those fun things that happen on family vacations like running out of gas in the middle of nowhere, getting locked out of motels, boats being stuck on sandbars, and children getting stung by stinging nettles.

I remember my daughters' weddings and the birth of their children and my grandchildren's first steps and their baptisms.

I remember that I did not thank my grandmother who raised me enough; that I did not hug my aunts enough for the thousands of hours they spent helping my grandmother.

To be frank, I have scant memories of the business people I've known and worked with. What I have are vivid memories of my grandmother, mother and father, and aunts, uncles, and friends who helped me along the way.

There is a quote from composer Anthony Brandt that, I think, best says what I'm trying to say: "Other things may change us, but we start and end with family."

Nothing is more true.

At the end of your career - no matter how successful you are - and no matter how many successful people you meet and work with - it will be your family that you remember and reminisce about.

Now, I am not suggesting that I don't have any memories of my business experience; I certainly do. I particularly remember my mistakes.

At age 40 - just as I was leaving one job for another - I was advised by a senior official at the job I was leaving to learn to "measure my words." I was embarrassed - to be 40 years old and have someone tell me to be careful what I say - that's what we tell our teenagers. "Bite your tongue" is what my grandmother used to tell me (as she reached for the flyswatter).

But "measure your words" or "bite your tongue" - however it is said - is good advice. Being rude, hurtful, or professionally denigrating to others gets you nothing. If you end up living in Jacksonville, Charlotte, Richmond, Washington, D.C., Baltimore, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, or a similar city where everyone in business kind of knows everyone else, remember this: "What goes around comes around."

People will forgive you for hurtful remarks, but they will not forget. And what others say about us often has as much influence on our lives, and especially on our destinies, as what we actually do.

I have learned the hard way how important it is to be able to disagree without being disagreeable; how to disagree and still continue the discussion.

If you leave here this afternoon already knowing how to disagree without being disagreeable, you are light years ahead of where I was 37 years ago. And you will be a better person for it all of your life.

To show you just how slow I am, not only did someone have to tell me to be careful what I say at age 40, I also was in my 40s before I realized that virtually every good opportunity I have ever had was the result of having a mentor. I've been in the military, worked in state government, for corporations, law firms, and for educational institutions. In every single instance, any success I enjoyed was because I had a mentor friend.

The dictionary defines mentor as a "trusting friend or guide"; a "tutor or coach." I would add to that definition - at least in my case - that it's someone who helps you in spite of yourself. We are, each of us, our own worst enemy. We frequently do dumb things that could be destructive to our careers and personal lives but for the help of our friends and family. But a mentor cares about us and helps us regardless of our "foolish" mistakes.

If you're in a job and don't have a mentor, you should be cleaning out your desk. You won't make it up the ladder of success in business, government, or education without a mentor. None of us can succeed by ourselves. If people are not pulling and pushing you, you need to find another ladder to climb where you have a mentor to help.

And How do we do that? How do we develop a mentor? The best advice I know comes from Ralph Waldo Emerson. He said "The only way to find a friend is to be one."

Simply put, do something for somebody everyday for which you do not get paid, and you'll never have to worry about others helping you. You will reap what you sow.

By now you know I am a slow learner and have only made it this far because friends have helped me in spite of my mistakes. And that's certainly true. But I do know one business rule that will put every VCU business school graduate on at least equal footing with every other business graduate in the United States and probably ahead of 95% of such graduates. And it is particularly important these days to have an "edge."

You are entering the worst labor market in ten years. But you won't be able to sell or market stocks or bonds, accounting services, consulting services, insurance, real estate, automobiles, soap, tooth paste, or any other product or service if you don't know this rule. You won't be successful in presentations to clients; you won't even be successful in presentations to your local PTA, and you won't be successful in the most important thing, and that's getting a job.

If you don't know and follow this simple rule, you will be severely disadvantaged. But, if you do, there's no business school graduate in the country that will be ahead of you. This rule is very simple:

IF YOU SEE JIMMY JONES THROUGH JIMMY JONES' EYES, YOU'LL SELL JIMMY JONES WHAT JIMMY JONES BUYS.

If you see through the other persons' eyes when you're addressing them - if you know their needs and understand their concerns - if you listen to what they say - you will be successful.

It is horribly frustrating to have accountants, consultants, economists, lawyers, salespeople, and others tell you all the great things they do and how great their products and services are and, yet, nowhere in their conversation is there a serious inquiry about what you really need. It is such a waste to make presentations, make solicitations, prepare brochures - all based on what you want to say and not what customers want to hear. Yet, we all do it. But it never works.

The only thing that works in business is to see Jimmy Jones through Jimmy Jones' eyes, then you'll sell Jimmy Jones what Jimmy Jones buys. You remember that, and I guarantee each one of you will have a successful career.

Enough rambling. All I really have to say this afternoon is first, remember your family and friends; second, be careful what you say; third, find a mentor; and fourth, every morning on your way to work, sing out loud: If I see Jimmy Jones through Jimmy Jones' eyes, I'll sell Jimmy Jones what Jimmy Jones buys.

Good luck, God bless each of you, and God bless America.